Author: john

After the kenalog shots last Friday, I would have hoped that my face would calm down.  No.  Saturday I was pretty miserable. It’s the same thing. Burning mouth. Face. Ugh. It’s just a cycle.  Sunday weird enough I woke up to my Eustachian tubes just crackling away. It’s a weird thing that sort of comes… Continue reading Fire

It’s been a wild rollercoaster for the past few weeks, not gonna lie. I’ve been tested several times. Patience has been something that I’ve been deprived of for some time but somehow manage to find some. It’s been frustrating. As I look back I am super happy I went to an eye doctor. Of all… Continue reading Fuck

After leaving my dermo’s office, he gave me more Cipro. I think for the most part it’s the antibiotic that’s helped the most besides Vancomycin. This whole week has been … a struggle. And no not a struggle where it’s like going up a flight of stairs (yes we’ve all been there). It’s taken a… Continue reading Still Struggling

Can’t say how much I’ve fucking hated the past 2 years. Maybe more. For as long as I can remember, my face was just never feeling right. Almost unnoticeable. Slowly making its way through my neck and face.  When the implants went in, something changed.  Sores. Man. The sores have been the absolute worst. Just showing… Continue reading Staph

People joke about it all the time. Eating food from this restaurant gave me PTSD. ETC ETC. For me I was also the same. Making jokes about it. I had a rude awakening yesterday. I’ll be honest. I’ve had countless surgeries since I paid that fucking idiot $20k. Every surgery marked me. Fear. Anxiety. I… Continue reading PTSD

Yep. More staph. When my email notification went off, I saw it was Labcore. Frantically logging in I was hoping for something. The past 2 cultures grew nothing. Sure enough. More coagulate negative staph. As I started to read the list of antibiotics that worked, there were quite a few that were resistant. Of course… Continue reading Another culture

If 1 word would describe how I’m feeling about things. It’s apathy. I’ve seriously stopped fucking caring. No matter what I do, or say doesn’t matter. Nobody is listening anymore. How do I feel?  Sad. I’ve felt like this for awhile now. I’m also angry. Why?  The pain won’t stop. My mouth hurts 24/7. At least the… Continue reading Apathy

The past few weeks has tested every ounce of me. Between work, health and home. When does it all end?  Seriously?  I would love some sort of reprieve or break or honestly a fucking end to all this. Ever since the implants were placed I’ve been in a downward spiral. Last Friday I was called by my… Continue reading No Escape

Well. After a shitty weekend, my face started to just hurt as I drove home Saturday. By the time I got home I needed a sinus rinse. Fast. Something didn’t feel right. The strange smell has come back. The rotting one. Yay.  The rinse calmed down the fire, but my jaw has continuously hurt more… Continue reading Familiar Territory

 As of late. This is what my life has been. Finding time to grab onto the calm with chaos all around. I’ll be honest. The past 6 weeks have been … hell. After seeing the ENT, I was probably in the ER by day 3. My face has just contributed to hurt. Gave me antibiotics,… Continue reading Calm Within the Chaos