Fuck

It’s been a wild rollercoaster for the past few weeks, not gonna lie. I’ve been tested several times. Patience has been something that I’ve been deprived of for some time but somehow manage to find some. It’s been frustrating. As I look back I am super happy I went to an eye doctor. Of all people really. I guess I can honestly admit that I really had no idea the depth and scope of ophthalmologists.  Not even a day after I started the drops I started to feel better. Up until this point the pain has all been between my eyes, behind them, and my nose. 

It was all day long. Impossible to get any relief. Anies would literally give me face rubs 2-3 times a day. God it felt great after, but everything would just come back. The nasal sprays that Hepworth told me to use did nothing. Really. I think he was just at the point of this isn’t concerning. Which it should be. The infectious disease Dr that I tried getting onboard, did pretty much what he could to do as least as possible. The only doctor who really has helped has been Dr Schleve. My 80 year old dermatologist. I’ve been going to him for what 4 years now?  Everytime I see him he listens. Provides solutions. Helps. Weekly I have been seeing him about my face. What’s wrong you ask?

Fuck I don’t even know how to explain it on top of what I feel between my eyes. My cheeks feels swollen. It’s not fat I can assure you. When you pinch the sides of my cheeks it just hurts. The tissue feels hard and fibrous. I am constantly feeling “things” push through my face. Red spots all over. They resemble pustules that haven’t filled up. These typically follow along my jawline and below my neck. The skin feels the same as my cheeks. Sore and fibrous. The stinging sensations will come and go. You can easily see these lumps and bumps on my face. Keep in mind this is where the pus had constantly been coming from. I’ve probably captured 8 cultures. 5 of which mind your cultured for staph. Inside my mouth I could gum the lumps. They feel like small clusters. Even the pus that has always come out of my left ear still comes out. This should tell you that yes. This is what’s been in my face all along. The shots of kenalog Schleve gives me weekly has been instrumentally helpful. Before he would just shoot up a spot here or there, but now it’s become my entire face. He sees it. He feels it. Best of all, he believes me and is trying. But I will admit. It doesn’t feel the greatest. 

The best way I can describe it, is that you are just being stung repeatedly by 500 bees. He takes about 15 minutes to make sure everything gets hit. Last week there was some extremely painful stuff pushing through my upper lip. When he shot that one up my whole upper lip went numb. That’s the extent of what I feel. It’s inflammation/infection just pushing it’s way out. The burning sensations I feel are the same as the ones that where coming out of my scalp, on my neck. They push through till they pool and burst through. Buying the culture sticks were the best thing I could have done. They were instrumental in determining what the fuck this is. I’m sorry but I’m not gonna wait to go to a dr to pop these and swab them. Since they just do it whenever. I’m just glad dr Schleve would send them out, no questions asked.  And I am doing it properly. Wiping the area with alcohol, lancing them with a sterile needle, and only capturing the pus on the tip of the culture sticks. 

Being grateful for my doctors is a mixed bag as this point. Doctors in general for me are not helpful. They actually throw hurdle after hurdle at me. I can honestly admit it’s hard to find good doctors. I mean that’s always been the challenge. Like I’ve said constantly. All doctors do is check the boxes. Really the only doctors that help at this point is my Sarid, Schleve, Rollert, and the new ENT I found at uc health. I suppose I could also throw in the new eye doctor too, but I’ve only seen him once. I can say for certain I won’t be going back to Terra. During our last Telehealth visit it was quite clear he wasn’t interested. He’s pretty much a dick to be honest. He even went so far to say I need to find a new dermo. Yeah dude. What not to say. I’ll just add him to the pile of useless doctors. 

After the shots yesterday I was pretty miserable. I felt sick. I fell asleep on the couch. I woke up to my wife coming in. Our Friday’s are now watch new episodes on tv together. Which I honestly look forward to. Part of that, she started to rub my face. But this felt different. It felt as though as if something was getting pushed out. My salivary glands just turned on (which is rare). The longer she rubbed the better I started to feel. Breathing felt really weird. Like. I could actually breathe.