It’s been awhile since I’ve put any thoughts down. Talk about a rollercoaster. Since I was diagnosed with Lyme, it’s been an uphill battle. Daily. Shit. Sometimes hourly. Since last I wrote, I went off invanz, and went back to ceftriaxone. I was elated. that maybe, just maybe I’m gonna pull out of this hell… Continue reading Awhile

I have to start this off with saying that it has absolutely taken way too long to get help. To be honest 2018 was when this started to take from me. Slowly every day I felt this dark grip slowly dragging me under. I shrugged it off as being overworked (which I was). UC Health… Continue reading Too Long

I’ll start off with saying I still feel like shit. That may come as no surprise, but it’s what it feels like. Over the past week, my face has been hurting more and more. Between my jaw and my face, I just feel swollen. Mornings are becoming much harder to shake the pain and nausea… Continue reading This Has Worn Out It’s Welcome

I have been reflecting over the past 10+ years over myself and how the downward spiral began. Prior to 2008, I don’t think I had many issues outside of a few cavities and just getting bronchitis / pneumonia constantly. My face was fine. Outside of my ears getting infections because I had to keep taking… Continue reading Chronic

DATE OF OPERATION:08/19/2022 PREOPERATIVE DIAGNOSIS:Diffuse sialadenitis involving submandibular and parotid glands with disseminated actinomycosis. POSTOPERATIVE DIAGNOSIS:Diffuse sialadenitis involving submandibular and parotid glands with disseminated actinomycosis. PROCEDURES:Four-gland sialendoscopy and sialodochoendoscopy with ductal irrigation and drainage.Sialodochoplasty x4. SURGEON:Edward J. Hepworth, MD ANESTHESIA:General endotracheal. FLUIDS: 1000 mL crystalloid. ESTIMATED BLOOD LOSS:None. FINDINGS:Obstruction of 4 glands, bilateral Stensen’s and… Continue reading Sialendoscopy #1

I’ve had nightmares the past few nights. Tonight I think I relived something from the deep dark past. It was about mom, and my abusive father. I don’t think it’s the Ambien doing it. I saw her face once again. It was not what you would imagine. Felt like I went full on rewind 35… Continue reading Can’t Sleep

Appointment with Dr. Lupo happened today. He removed the steristrips and says it’s healing nicely. There is however a lot of fluid still trapped in my mastoid where he worked, and that will take about 7-8 weeks to dissipate. He told me that the surgery was absolutely necessary. When he accessed the mastoid, he immediately… Continue reading Mastoidectomy Post Op

Friday came, and went. I couldn’t sleep… at all.. Between my nerves just being from another planet, and the sheer amount of pain I was feeling in my face it’s over. The 2 year long fight. Jesus. The anxiety the night before. I was having a panic attack. Pretty bad. So I had a few… Continue reading It’s Over

Yup. It’s started. The sheer amount of pain and stress has met my tipping point today. I can honestly say that I am scared shitless. Beyond anything that I’ve ever had to wait for. Friday is less than 48 hours away. I have no idea outside of the “informed consent” I signed for. Mastoidectomy. Sounds… Continue reading Panic

I don’t know how, or where I have gotten this amount of patience. However, as of last week, its gone. Of course Hepworth’s office called, “I’ve got some bad news”. I fucking knew it that something wasn’t going to go right. The best part is that I vented my frustration, and that was met with… Continue reading Losing Patience