Can’t Win

Just seems like I get ahead, then just get punted back down the stairs again. And again. And again. 

Ended up having to dump the Apple Watch because of the metal. Luckily I found a ceramic one (previously had the series 2 Ceramic) online. I guess that’s maybe a little  happiness.  Honesty should have just gotten this from the get go. 

The mouth problems are continuing. After meeting the new dentist (I follow up next week) my mouth just hurt. The implants themselves just hurt. Especially the 2 on the lower left. Periodically I’ll feel my heartbeat, and just this agonizing pain. The mucoceles in my mouth are not going away. Of course my ENT is unavailable, so I have no choice but to turn to a different ENT to address. The new ENT is at least attentive and seems to care, for now. Unfortunately I have to wait another 2 weeks to see the surgical ENT to see if we can address whatever the fuck is going on. The bumps, the streaks, the pain. It’s just tiring day in, and day out to feel like this. As a precaution I’m back on antibiotics and steroids to try and calm down whatever is going on in my mouth. 

I already know the answer, and that answer is the implants. Ever since I got these, it’s been nothing but misery. Not sure if it’s just placement, allergy, underlying infection. Who knows at this point anymore. The tissues around the implants are sore. They seem to be not worth it. At all. I see the guy who put them in tomorrow to probably be met with the same stupid looks. At least my face isn’t looking like I’ve been stung by 1000 bees. 

I will also see my oral surgeon tomorrow too for steroid injections. Even though they suck, i do find SOME sort of relief from it. Albeit only temporary. I would have hoped by now things would be calming down, but they are not. 

I am sure at the end of the day, it’s been an underlying metal allergy on top of the CVID. Only logical explaination here. Sucks I had to spend what $20k to figure this all out the hard way?  You’d think that for once in my life I would catch a break, this is clearly not the case. 

I wish I could have a week of no pain. No bullshit. Disappointment. 

I don’t think I am meant to get better at this point. More or less it’s now just a race to see how long I can fucking tolerate this stupid shit. Suffrage by definition.