Dreading tomorrow, but hopeful

I’m dreading it. 

Why?  Anyone who has gone through surgery knows how anxiety takes you over the closer the inevitable comes. It’s a terrible end to what has caused me a literal year of misery. 

The findings of metal in my mouth has raised more suspicion. That suspicion being that the guy who put my implants fucked up putting them in. From my visit with OMFS, he said that it looks like a guide sleeve for placing implants. So this very well could have been there from the get go. Between him fucking placing an implant incorrectly, the other implant failing, and ultimately the loss of all of them leads me to believe that he fucked up huge. 

I’m sorry but the metal that’s currently in my jaw shouldn’t be there. There is absolutely no medical reason as to why this should be there. It’s there because he fucked up. I almost bet you it’s been in there since the implants were placed. That’s why they failed. His immediate dismissal and avoidance tells me he knows he fucked up. 

I will say this, you did fuck up with the wrong person. I will be perusing this legally. It’s quite clear that medical malpractice is at play. 

Yes. I know my immune system is fucked. But I can tell you that if he didn’t cause my immune system to go crazy by leaving metal in me in the first place, I wouldn’t have had to literally survive for the past 2 months. Between the clot, and this. It’s been a challenge to push through all this. 

I am hopeful that tomorrow I’ll have this out of my jaw, and the shit just stops. The pain. Agony. Constantly unable to smell. Once this is done, I will try to recoup what I lost. I have done some reading and it looks like the total cap of medical malpractice is $1M. I will do what I can to make sure I fight what this fuck did to me. Hopefully tomorrow I can get the OMFS to make a statement that this isn’t normal, and that what was done wasn’t right. I know that from what this idiot did, has caused more harm to me. He knew I was allergic to metal. Was super unwilling to just look to make sure nothing else was wrong. In the end, my advocation is what got people to look in the right places. 

It’s truly a shame what a simple infection has done to me 3 years ago. I guess the silver lining in all of this, is learning of my immune deficiency, stopping smoking, just doing better things for my body. I’ve lost more than anyone could ever imagine. I’m roughly $60k in debt because of all this. Between 3 years of maxing out my medical deductible totaling $21k, $5k it an attempt to save my teeth, on top of another $7k to remove / halt the infection in my mouth, and $25k in implants to try and replace what I once had, to only have to pay yet another $1k to fix what this idiot fucked up. So yeah, the past 4 years have financially crushed me. 

It’s sad that certain people whom I used to call family turned away. But again, it’s always about them. I’m super grateful for other family members who supported me through all of this. Just listening. Providing guidance. Nothing but positive vibes. Someday I will find a way to pay it back. 

Hopefully this will be the end of this chapter. I did manage to take the Jeep up to the mountains this weekend. It was much needed escape from everything. The shit part is some idiot backed into the Jeep as we were parked filling up gas. As he backed up I layed on the horn for a solid 5 seconds. Wham. Hit me anyway. As I got out of the car I was just hoping nothing happened. As I got to the front of the Jeep, nothing there. The new bumpers I invested in turned out to be the best thing. His truck took all the damage. The funniest part is he kept saying how my bumper damaged his truck. Guess what fuckwit, had you used your ears you would have stopped. Thankfully I had no damage, and it didn’t ruin my escape. We hit up Dillon, shot off a few rounds, hit up Rei. I needed new shoes. The ones I had were falling apart. I picked up a new pair of LaSportiva Approach shoes. We drove back through Breckinridge on the way back and just took the scenic route. It was snowing pretty good the whole time. 

It didn’t bother me at all. 

It was nice to get out for once and not worried about my health for once. Here’s hoping tomorrow will be over quick, and that I can get justice for what was done.