Surgery Complete

I honestly can say that in the 3 years of my ongoing chronic illness, what was the clusterfuck of last Friday, that for once, I think I am finally getting relief.

Friday started out in a blur as usual…  Woke up in a lot of pain, my vision was starting to get blurry again.  I quietly sat in the living room just waiting for 11am to come.  I was getting nervous about going under anasthesia.  It’s never a fun feeling.  When 10:30am rolled around, I told the wife that we should go.  I drove this time to the procedure.  I just wanted this over with already.

When we got to the surgery center, the nurse met me, but informed me that I was really early for my procedure.  I explained to her twice that my procedure is at 12:30pm and that I am supposed to be checked in at 11am.  She looked at her schedule, but said that it looks like thats the new time.  So I just agreed to fill out the paperwork, and head home.  Frustrating… I was just ready to get this over with…  The wife and I drove home, and not more than 20 minutes later, the same nurse called saying “Oh I have good news, it looks like your surgeon finished early and that you can come in for that 12:30pm surgery”.  Under my breath I said “You must have fucked up”.  Sure enough, about 10 minutes after that call, the wife and I are hurrying back to the surgery center and thats when my surgeons office calls asking me where I am.  Yup… they fucked up the schedule…  I explained to his assistant what happened, and she just said take our time getting to the place… I was already speeding at this point to get there.

We arrived back at the place around 12:10pm.  When we walked in, the nurse immediately met me, traded out my mask for a surgical one.  And I said bye to my wife again (I hate that).  They took me back through a few doors, took my weight, asked me the 983450983th same questions for COVID.  And I got to my staging gurnee.

Thats when 2 nurses came and both started prepping me for surgery.  At this point my anxiety is through the roof.  Take this off, put this on.  Do this, do that.  I’ve done this all before… not my first rodeo.

As they were putting in my IV, I was met by the anesthesiologist… nice guy.  After his short introduction, I immediately asked him for Versed.  Between the pain, and whats to come, I think I was getting close to a panic attack.  The nurse gave me steriods, he gave me Fentanyl and a x2 shot of Versed.

At this point I don’t remember much.  I remember meeting with my surgeon, signing the consents.  Telling him about a few things, then the nurse taking my phone, and the rest is nothing… empty.  I probably went out cold.

I woke up about 2 hours later in recovery.  Wow did I hurt.  I was met by the same nurse who immediately hit me with morphine for pain.  Thats when she told me that the surgery was successful, and that they had removed a pinky-sized infection from my right sinus.  It took me a bit to get my bearings and put my clothes back on and to head home.  For the curious, the procedure that I had done was a right sinus Antrostomy.  This is where they basically obliterate the sinus and open it up.

Whateverthefuck that was removed from my face has been sent for labs, and is being tested for a wide variety of things… Anarobic / Aerobic / Fungal / Parasitic / HSV / Actinomyces…. everything.

I don’t remember going home.  Getting in the car.  Just a blank.  But I guess thats Versed for you.  It did its job.

At home the recovery was the usual.  I had to get dilaudid for the pain, because it was quite immense.  I cannot describe what it feels like to get roto-rootered in your face outside of the fact its very painful.  I did bleed alot, bunch of crap coming out of my face, but something was different.

Normally I had this gagging feeling in my throat.  It would never go away.  It was always just “there”.  But its gone.  WTF.  Its gone!?!?!?!  This is a feeling that I have had for probably +3 years, and its gone.  I would also have a general feeling of “I’m sick”, or just ill… thats gone too.  HOLYFUCKINGSHITBALLS did this actually work this time!?

As I sit here recovering, yes I am still in somewhat of some discomfort, however, it’s a different kind.  The pain in my face that I have been feeling, the awkward pressure, and rotting feeling is gone.  The horrid smell I was smelling (dead cat floating in its own piss), is gone.  Could this really be real?  For once am I actually going to be able to get back to living and enjoying life?

You need to remember that all I know for the past 3 years has been hospitals, doctors that dont listen, shattered hopes, septic episode after septic episode, losing all my teeth, daily frustration, all awhile I have to maintain a smile on my face, try to go to work and get “something” done, while holding back an immense amount of pain and frustration.  I’m acutally amazed I was able to get through this.  More towards the end, yes, I was starting to lose hope.  It was actually starting to win… but I think I handled this the best I could have.

Thursday is my first post-op followup, followed by my IVIg infusion on Friday.

Maybe this is the end.  Maybe I can start focusing on the future now, without being constantly worried about my health and the unknown….  All I can do is hope that this is the end, and that I can just enjoy the little things with my wife again.  I can’t wait.

Maybe…..