Not a Fun Night

I’m now wide awake at 2:30am, Venus started heaving. If you’re a cat owner, and you hear that sound, she’s gonna throw up. I shot up out of bed and tried to get Venus out of the bedroom so she would be on the hardwood flooring so it would be easier to clean up. She scurried away to the other side of the bed. I then grabbed some paper towels from the kitchen, but I couldn’t tell where it was.

I felt horrible at the same time. My jaw and face were just hurting. So while I couldn’t find anything, I went to the bathroom, aka the pharmacy to get the dilaudid out. As the pain started pulsing more and more, I am allowed to take up to 8mg. If I do do that, I have to space the dosing out differently if I am just doing the normal 4mg when I need it. Based on how I felt, I just took 8mg at this point. It’s been awhile since I’ve had to use the bigger dose, honestly since I started ketamine, the 4mg has been doing what I’ve needed at less intervals.

Ketamine is this weekend. Between the increasing amount of pain I have been feeling in my whole head, and the emotional breakdown, it’s much needed. I just need to shut off. That’s what the ketamine allows me to do. Reset. It’s been so helpful with dealing with everything. From killing off the pain, to getting my mind to just … stop. From all the trauma from the heart attack, the non-stop chronic illness, to my face constantly hurting. It just works.

I scanned the area with my phones flashlight, but couldn’t find anything. Hades is now following me around since he seems to think it’s time to get up. As I got back into bed he started to run on the wheel. I was hoping that he would just do it a few times and get off, but he didn’t. He just kept running. The dilaudid I took earlier is hitting me hard. It’s not a fun experience to take the bigger dose. It just hits much differently. As I was almost back asleep, he continued to run

As I came back to the bedroom, Venus again, is making that sound. I got up and grabbed the towels from before and got her to get out of the bedroom this time. She continued to heave, with nothing. Just spit. Nothing productive. I came back to the bed, with the dilaudid now just punching me in the face. Again, Hades sees I’m up again, it must be time to play. As I sat in bed, he continued to run on the wheel, then make his little pigeon noises (it’s cute) and jump up to the bed, then back to the wheel. This went on for at least 10 minutes.

It’s just at this point, I got back out of bed and moved the wheel to the living room so that if he does want to use it at 3am…… we won’t hear it. I went to the fridge to get some OJ, and now here I am, writing in the blog.

As I sit here, thinking about Venus heaving a, it reminded me of when at the other place, as time went on, I remembered that they were doing it pretty often at the old place. It was sort of out of nowhere. It started occurring more and more frequently this last year. Progressively getting worse more or less

Then it dawns on me. Some of that water must’ve leaked out before I got the old air purifier out of the apartment, and maybe Venus licked it up. It’s the only thing I can think of. I feel so terrible. I’m supposed to make sure they are taken care of, protected, and again, in a safe place. Keeping them fed. Just being a good cat dad. This whole mold thing has been just one big fucking disaster, and it just keeps coming back to haunt me.

I’m so fortunate that the sinus surgery that took forever to happen last year, happened. Yes. I wish it would’ve happened sooner, but that was out of my control. Hepworths office staffing issues for the past 2 years, definitely contributed to that. I still can’t believe they hired Stephanie the surgery scheduler back. She was, and still is terrible.

I’ve talked about it before, but that sinus surgery opened up my eyes to what was really going on. The silver lining of this entire ordeal was that we learned what was really driving all of us to get so sick with no explanation. This ultimately led to the answer of the mold in the apartment. What was really making us all miserable. Between the cats constant getting sick, or hearing them struggle to breathe after playing, Anies surprise asthma and other problems, and yeah. Everything I have been dealing with was just due to something you couldn’t see. Invisible. But it’s there.

As I walked back into the apartment, I did one last sweep of the apartment. As I turned to the bathroom, I found Venus’ pile of vomit. Hades kept running over to the corner where I literally just put the wheel not more than 30 minutes ago, and he kept wiping his paws at the floor. Like he was trying bury something.

I walked over and found a big pile of poop in the corner. I can only assume it was Venus. She’s probably scared out of her mind. While I ran to the bathroom to grab toilet paper, Hades is still trying to “help”, but has now stepped in. I picked him up to clean off his paws, and now Athena has come to investigate. I shoo’d her away as I was cleaning his paws. Thankfully Athena just ran away. I didn’t need this getting worse than it already is.

I’ve spent the last hour cleaning up everything. Between the dilaudid, and this whole weird night, I’m just exhausted. I need to get some sleep. Tomorrow is a very long day.

I hope Venus feels better now, I know what it’s like to be sick 🙁