Surprise

I remember getting my new job at Arris. Everything was right for once. I made it. Albeit at a great cost. The divorce was disgusting. It was the best choice, I could have ever made. It’s funny how someone gets to “the next step”. Shortly after starting my new job. Moved out of the city finally. Dumped a really bad relationship off to the curb, but started something…. amazing. I was apprehensive, but I saw someone that needed help. Someone who has become my best friend through it all. Agnieszka has been the most amazing person anyone could ever ask for. She’s tolerant, heartwarming, and kind. She always puts herself out there, she just needed a gentle nudge. 

I still remember when the Sheriff showed up with the papers. At first I thought it was all just a joke. But when I started reading the papers that were handed to her, I knew something was immediately wrong. Through her past life, her uncle screwed her over by having her co-sign on a loan he never was going to take care of. 

We had 30 days to produce the money, or she was going to have to go to court. At the time I didn’t really know what to do, I just know that we needed to produce thousands of dollars to get her name cleared from this stupid debt. Where did the uncle go?  Disappeared. Typical piece of shit. 

As time went on, the illnesses started to become more and more frequent. The cysts would keep coming out of my face, and you guessed it, I kept popping them. Little did I know I was really only fueling what was to come. After the first cyst was removed, it feels as though as if it started a chain reaction in my body. 

I ended up switching dermatologists. Why?  The guy that removed the cysts from my face honestly fucked up really badly. Instead of punching out a few cysts, I was left with a cut about 2 inches long. Fuck it hurt. I remember shortly after the procedure, sitting at work, the stitches started to break. From what I was told, too soon. I remember jumping in my jeep and just hauling ass to the Dr. 

They ended up just removing the stiches. The scar was there. A reminder of really how all this started. Soon after I started taking a risky medication. Not a popular thing to take. Retin A. At the time I really didn’t understand what it was. Or what it could/would do. All it really did was dry me out. The cysts seemed to go down, but it never really went away. 

Week after week, I saw the new dermatologist. Just to have Kenalog injections into my face to try to dissolve the cysts. Honestly it just made it worse. Made me want to pick at them more. 

Soon after, the dental issues started. Little did I know, that would only lead to me falling down this slippery slope of just nonstop illness. 

It’s hard to imagine that this can happen to someone. Up until now, it’s been a fucking nightmare. Doctor after doctor. Procedure after procedure. 2020, has not been kind. At all.

When Agnieszka and I made it to Denver, I though things would just take off. We would have finally made it. Escaped whatever was looming. Again, as I drove out with everything we owned, there was as storm coming. 

I remember picking at my face the entire ride out. Little did I know I was still just fueling what was to come. 

As Andrew left in 2016, that’s when the wheels were set in motion. The fainting spells, the swelling issues. Just weird shit.  I started seeing a dermatologist the minute my health insurance kicked in. We removed cysts as they showed up, but it was getting more and more frequent. The swallowing problems were not going away. I remember staying up for 48 hours thinking I was going to just gag on air. 

It was nuts. Then surprisingly, it all just disappeared one day. Like here today, gone tomorrow. I shrugged it off. Whatever it was is gone. 

Holy fuck was I wrong. 

Today?  Well. It’s surprising to say that switching to the new doctor has helped. He’s listening to me. The rashes came back, along with what I can only describe as my face feels like it’s going to just explode. I started to notice swelling in my cheeks, and jaw. Worsening. Day by day. Just as before, however, it’s painful. I can feel something in my cheeks, my lip. My jaw. There is something there. 

So last weekend instead of going to another useless ER visit, I called on call at IMMUNOe. He listened. Prescribed me antibiotics. I started them, but really didn’t feel better. As Monday came, I started to feel an immense pressure building in my face. My nose, fuck. The whole thing. I started getting those feelings of something is moving around in my face. 

As I spoke to my new GP, I told him that this swelling is extremely painful, and that we should resort to steroids. On top of the antibiotics. It’s helped in the past, so why not?  The day before I broke into my stash. Dexamethasone. Jesus Christ this shit is something else. Powerful shit. Even more powerful than prednisone. As the next day came, the pressure and swelling to my surprise started to subside. Relief. Holy fuck. I haven’t felt relief like this in a long time. The lumps in my mouth started to disappear. The pain I’ve been feeling between my left cheek and jaw, can only be described as something pushing through my mouth. It burns. It fucking hurts. But I’ve just “dealt” with it. As the 3rd day came I started to really feel the benefit of the steroids. 

The swelling has just come down immensely. My jaw and cheeks just feel, fucking different. As before it was extremely swollen, and painful. Now, the swelling is almost gone. I can barely feel it. So what the fuck is this?  I’d really love to know. 

Tonight the pain is still there. There has been a lot of white crap coming out from my mouth. I cannot tell what the fuck it is. Throughout the past week, my sinuses have just been hurting. It’s like the infection has come back. I restarted the sinus rinses tonight. And Jesus Christ did some indesireable shit come out. Again. What the fuck. 

It’s just a daily struggle for me now. I am giving everything I got to just staying up on my own two feet. It’s hard to say what’s around the corner, I am hopeful that change is coming. Hopefully in a positive direction.