Observation

As I sit here in the waiting room, there is someone who is about 22-23. With his mother. Sitting with the registration tablet “here you do it”. Mom just reluctantly takes it. Starts asking him all the questions. I’m sorry. But if you are the patient, you should be the one doing all that. Computer illiterate or not. When did people become so lazy and stupid?

When it got to the smoking part I about lost it. Poor idiot couldn’t even figure it out. “What’s the right answer?” He asked. Are you fucking serious dude. Is that all people want anymore is the right answer.  This is what happens when you hand out participation awards. Hurting the culture of you can never be wrong. Jesus humanity is doomed. 

The rheumatologist visit went really well. I saw this Dr. right before Mayo in 2018. She was quite thorough. Patient, and understanding. Not much was really figured out but it was just one of those incremental steps to figuring shit out. It was comforting that we were able to pick up where we left off. I filled her in on everything. 

As we discussed the labs more in depth, we started talking about immunoglobulins.  The donation process. It’s scuffed to say the least. I completely forgot that there are both good, and bad immunoglobulins. Unfortunately there are those people whom like to donate their plasma when they have a problem. I’m not referring to a cold, but people with actual issues. People with lupus, sjogrens, hepatitis, HIV etc.  Yes, the donation pool is cleansed. It removes all the bacterial and vital components. The only thing that’s left are just immuglobulins.  She reminded me that there are certain antibodies that are used as markers, for typical rheumatological problems. My labs showed elevated antibodies. I was tested for the same stuff back in 2018, and 2019. Both negative. 

I feel dumb. But there has been just too much going on to remember things anymore. I felt better talking to her. God I’m fucking relieved that I don’t have those. Why?  It’s the SCIg I’m taking.  Whoever donated to the last batch should stop fucking donating.  It’s causing all sorts of false positives. So mostly all the antibody tests are invalid now. The SCIg will just muddy the waters even more, making my labs that much harder to interpret. Again. I felt better from the standpoint of sheer relief. 

As our move happened last weekend, the wife and I took a break. Went to get coffee. Roughly 30 minutes after, my face started to burn. It was extremely red and irritated. The red bumps were all over. It felt like my skin was going to melt off. The intensity was unreal. Nothing helped. Ice. Anything. I broke into my stash of steroids. Yeah I know. I’m not supposed to use them. But I was at the point of ER. I had my epi pen ready. This was a reaction of some sort. As the pain increased in my head it because extremely hard to think or focus. I just had to lay down. It was crippling. I also had some steroid cream, which I just caked onto my face. It literally felt like my face was in Antarctica. Holy fuck. Steroids. 

This had to be something I ate. This wasn’t like an allergy to the environment. Although I firmly believe the of apartment has a problem. Mold. The air. It was .. heavy. Maybe it was just the boxes. Moving shit around. I doubt it but that was one thing to factor in. The next day we had to run out, again, got coffee again. And again, within 30 minutes it was back again. 

Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me. 

Coffee. The 1 comforting thing that has kept me going all these years. Now I’m all of a sudden allergic to it!?!  No fucking way. But they do say as you age allergies to things can occur. I’m hoping it’s coincidence. It could be the syrup they use, soy(doubt that), the coffee, or the water. Maybe the machine?  Variables. 

So since then I have switched to tea. I guess it will do till things get figured out. As part of my meeting with the rhem, she told me to go off of the steroids. Which I did yesterday. It’s the weirdest feeling when you take them. Marathon mode that you can’t get out of. Impatience. Ugh it just sucks. 

My face and mouth just has become more and more uncomfortable. It seriously feels like there is something there. They cyst on my cheek feels weird. It’s not going away with the trentonin cream. Or the doxycycline. The swelling I feel in my cheeks, and nose feels like it’s getting worse again. The Xhance helps, however, I think it’s just hiding shit. It is after all a steroid of sorts. As I unpacked my fucking pharmacy my antifungal fell the the floor. I picked it up and just stared at it. 

The hampster in my head got on the wheel. What if this really is fungal. I mean let’s just state facts. Antibiotics are not working. Skin care regimens are not working. My face is still producing the granules. The irritation. The redness. Fuck. It just comes and goes. Flares up and calms down to just do it again and again. So I started taking it last night. I’m going to stay on it for at least 2 weeks (I’ve got 90 days worth). What’s interesting is that burn. The pinching. The strange feeling that there is sponge under my skin isn’t as prominent as it had been. Placebo maybe?  Unclear. I’m gonna do 200mg a day for the next 3 days, then do 100mg for 2 weeks after. 

All I can do is hope. Pus came out of my ear again today. Not sure what the fuck that even is anymore. It’s paste-like and it fucking stinks. I would just love to know what’s doing that. As frustrating as that sounds. 

On the mouth front, I tried my dentures in before we moved. I wanted to try them I guess. It’s been long enough. That was met by a quick hard nope. For starters, the uppers just don’t fit all all correctly. It fits around what I have, but it doesn’t sit right. Something shifted. As for the lower, well we all know why that’s not gonna work. I did lose a significant amount of bone because of dipshit. At the same time, on the lower left, there is something wrong. It’s hard to classify it as a bone spur, but I think it’s more than that. I honestly think that that fucking idiot used tainted bone grafting material. There’s a calcification that’s extremely hard. It doesn’t feel that way in the other side of my jaw. This hardness is preventing the denture from just fitting. Plus when I bite down it’s extremely painful. So I reached out to my oral surgeon to see what we can do. It’s not normal. Fuck yuh even look at the X-ray, the jawbone looks fine except for the lower left area. There is a calcified enhancement right where I’m feeling that “lump” in my mouth. Hopefully he can get me in. I also want the excess bone grafting done removed. It’s uncomfortable. Feels extremely unnatural. It sucks. 

As for the lump under my tongue, with the antifungal, I’m hoping it just starts to go away. It doesn’t feel as big today or irritated as it has been in the past, so I’ll be keeping a close eye on that. 

More soon.