Annoyed

Jesus Christ. I’m so fucking annoyed at this point. Fuck all doctors. They are all useless. None of them listen. I’m sitting here in the waiting room waiting to be seen for the 100th fucking time.

My mouth at this Point is fucking murder. I saw Hepworth 2 weeks ago. I have a serious infection in my head. I have to have surgery.

Funny

This has been on imaging for 3+ years. And now all of a sudden people are going to actually listen? I really don’t understand life anymore.

The past 3 years have been abysmal. Retarded. I’m so fucking sick of people neglecting me. Not listening to what I have to say. But you know what? That’s been my entire life. I’m so fucking annoyed at everyone and everything. Nothing has ever gone my way. And when it has, life finds a way to take it away and make it a negative.

The pain I’ve been in I don’t think anyone would deal with it the way I have. Morphine doesn’t really help anymore. It just hurts. It’s getting worse. I have no idea how I’m going to make it to July 8th …. The white shit continues to come out. I have no fucking clue what this is anymore. Every time I eat, or drink, it gets that much worse.

I don’t see how this has gone on this long. Getting COVID was just the icing on the cake. It was pretty clear that the doctors don’t give a fuck anymore. They are all checked out. Unless you walk into their office on fire. Even then I doubt they would do anything.

At least work is going “ok”. I just hope that I can continue to remain employed. I’m sure that Sedgwick will fuck everything up like last time. It just broadens the fact that people just don’t give a fuck anymore. If it doesn’t impact them directly… nope. Nothing.

I think everything is just starting to wear me down. Fear of losing my job, everything I own, probably Anies too. I’m so fucking scared for this surgery it’s not even funny. I’ve watched a few videos of them. Tried reading recovery documents / blogs, I’m not getting the same warm fuzzies I was with sinus surgery. A few people on Reddit said it sucked, so I’ll just follow that as what to expect.