A New Level of Pain

I haven’t written in awhile. I’m sorry.

The past two months have been horrible. Absolutely horrible.

Everyday I wake up with the hope that it’s going away. It’s not. The swelling continues to get worse along my jawline.

The absolute fire of my entire face, left ear, mouth, and neck is excruciatingly painful. I literally cross off the days until ketamine at this point. That 3 hours of freedom. Is paramount.

Over the past 3 days, it’s become intensively worse. Pus has been coming out of my left earlobe again. Out of my chin.

Last week the pain kicked up a notch when my entire trapezius muscle locked up on the left side. Wife could feel the baseball sized knots under my shoulders. The two golfball sized knots in the back of my head. It was extremely painful. I couldn’t even turn my head.

I caved. I scheduled an appointment with her office for Botox. In the past it has helped. This time however, it just shrunk them. I have some range of motion, but everything is extremely tight from my left shoulder blade to my left ear. $500 later, I went home. Took 10mg of Valium in the hopes that it would all let go.

As the days past, it’s become increasingly clear, this is an infectious process. My tongue has become coated again brown. It’s hard to swallow. It hurts to talk.

Today it’s starting to win. All along my outer lower jaw, the swelling is ballooning. The front of my chin is fat as fuck. I feel cysts throughout my face. The spot where the tumor/abscess was removed hurts like fucking crazy. Between my eyes, down my nose, and into my cheeks, I can feel “something”. Everytime Anies rubs my face, it makes popping snapping noises.

The cysts along my outer face are prominent. Pustules are starting to surface. The ones inside my mouth and under my tongue feel angry.

I’m so fucking frustrated. With all of his. I am the one who has to deal with this on an hourly basis. This is what happens when you’re ignored by doctors for too long. I’m beginning to think I’m fighting a losing battle.

Mayo Clinic has an appointment for me in October. But that’s almost a month and a half away. There is no help for me in Colorado. The last time I went to Mayo, they didn’t take me serious. Maybe they will this time.

I’m close to going to the ER. I have 4 pills of Dilaudid left, then I’m out. My refill appointment is Tuesday. If this continues to trend the way it’s going, I think I’m going to fold and go. I can’t do this anymore.

I

Need

Medical

Attention

I need a permanent solution to this infection in my face. My bloodwork continues to indicate infection.

I’m also close to financial meltdown. I don’t know what else to do.