Civil War

The past 24 hours has been hell. The longer I treat the mold, the worse this gets. My body feels like its just in a full civil war, everything is revolting against the “changes” I’ve instituted.

From the previous post, I am doing a detox protocol to try and help my body rid itself of this plague. To really sum up what / how I feel, it’s almost like I have induced fibromyalgia. Everything hurts, when I move, when I sit, it doesn’t matter.

Last night, the usual 8:30pm alarm for meds went off on my watch. I am usually pretty good about being punctual with all the different things I need to take, its just nice to have gentile reminders just in case I’m in the middle of something. Since I started the detox, I’ll admit that my attention span is < 2 minutes with anything. My head just feels cloudy, floaty, spaced out. I find myself getting exhausted quickly, just doing the simplest of things. I am pretty sure that my body is glad that its finally getting the help it needs, but it sure reminds me this is still here, and won’t be going away anytime soon.

I slept like absolute shit last night. I kept waking up. The night sweats are just the worst. It’s almost as if my bodies thermostat is just broken. One minute I feel like I am burning up, next it feels like I jumped into a frozen lake. The temperature dysregulation I constantly experience though, isn’t just at night, its 24/7. Along with that, I’ll just be sitting, doing nothing. At rest. My heart will decide that its running a marathon while sitting. It’s the craziest feeling in the world. Right after, I’m just drenched in sweat.

When I was hospitalized in 2021, for the saddled pulmonary embolisms, it would do the same thing. So I’m used to this crazy weird thing thats been happening for too long. Yes, it’s annoying. As part of that, the cardiologist recommended I go on Metoprolol. During my stay, I was hooked up to a 5 lead monitor that would basically provide EKG data realtime. I’m not sure how to classify what this is, but maybe this could be considered an episode of some sort. There is no trigger, it’s completely random. Sometimes it happens, sometimes I never experience it. Since I started the detox, these episodes seem like they are occurring at least 10 times a day now, at minimum. As I’ve said in the past, my watch would consistently warn me of my heart rate, but since the surgery, it’s yet to go off once. This warning would be where I am just sitting, at rest, and then blam, off to the races. Strangely enough last night, around 10pm, my watch started to warn me. Again and again.

When I started doing the Ketamine therapy, the common thing that they saw every time, was my blood pressure being high. By about the 3rd session I had, the nurse said it was probably a good idea to go back on the Metoprolol. Which, fine. Whats another pill I have to take? I know that the Metoprolol is “helping”, but its not the solution. I’m pretty sure the mycotoxins coursing through my body are playing a huge role in how I feel, how my body is behaving. Thats on the list for things to research.

This morning sucked waking up. The other symptom I’ve started to experience on a consistent basis, is my muscles and joints feel like they are under constant attack and stress. One way I can describe it, is everything feels so fucking tight. Rock hard. After the usual morning routine of coffee, I immediately went to the couch to turn on the heating pad, and grabbed the percussion gun. This “locked” up feeling does hurt. Again, it feels like I have fibromyalgia. Slight touches hurt, position or not. As I ran the percussion gun on my shoulders, I could just feel my muscles tightening even more. As I moved to my neck, I could just feel it popping over and over. It hurt, but at the same time it felt good. Again, I firmly believe all the toxins the mold has been releasing is directly contributing to the neck issues, the constant popping, the lockups.

My sinuses (or my one big sinus) continue to constantly dump out. In the back of my throat, I constantly feel stuff coming out. My eustachian tube on the left side of my head constantly crackles. Pops constantly. As part of the morning ritual, I have to blow my nose several times, and it’s not gentle, typically I have to rear up, close one nostril and just blow as hard as I can. As I do this, I can feel “stuff” getting jarred loose, and after a few attempts, it finally comes out. I typically have to repeat this constantly, but immediately after, the burning/pressure sensations that I have start to ease up. It’s nice that all of my sinuses minus my sphenoid have been removed. The pathways opened way up so that it’s easier to expel this shit out of my head. The contents are still the same, this whitish sticky gunky material continues to come out. Periodically I’ll also get some brownish/blackish specks that come out, its just slimy looking. It’s definitely not your typical snot, thats for sure. I’m just grateful that the sinus surgery is bearing positive results this time, not like it didn’t before, but this one seemed to really open up everything.

When I breathe, I can feel air everywhere in my face, whereas before, it was a struggle to breathe. I know I probably overshare, but it’s good to document all of this. It helps me gauge if things are getting better, same, or worse. Time and time again, I’ve forgotten what it feels like to be in no pain. So I have to focus on how I feel now vs the past.

As for my face, neck, and head, the strange cysts I’ve always felt seem to be getting smaller. Not exponentially smaller, but I can feel the swelling in my face become less. As a pet project, I’ve been taking 1 selfie each week. Again, documenting the physical aspect of what this has been doing to me. There have always been several area’s of concern, but if I would have to pick the “top 4” spots I consistently focus on, has been the lesion on the upper left portion of my forehead. The lump that has always been there for as long as I’ve known on the left portion of my neck where my neck meets my jaw. Slightly above that, I’ve always felt 3-4 really large cysts in front of my left ear, but follows along my jawline. Lastly, where Dr. Schleve took the calcium deposit out I guess you could call it my left jowl on my face.

When I roll back time, and go to 2022, you can clearly see how bad my face was swollen, but was dismissed, and written off by doctors as “not a big deal”

After COVID

After the Mastoidectomy in 2022

After 6 months of Ceftriaxone for Lyme

After the Mastoidectomy in 2023, and 6 weeks of Daptomycin

After the sinus surgery / sialendoscopy

Roughly 2 weeks into Voriconazole

As you can see the progression from the beginning of 2022, until today, you can easily see seriously how swollen my face was. But again, it was all dismissed. Ignored. As I look at some of the pictures, you can see how much pain I was in. It was indescribable. As time went on, I just ballooned.

I can easily say that from 2022, to today, I feel much better overall. Not all the way there yet, but a definite 110% improvement than where I was. At this point, its just making daily improvements, no matter how small. As long as the swelling, and everything else continues to subside, I guess I’ll just have to be patient as far as “getting back to normal”. But quite honestly, I have no fucking clue what normal is.

The only thing that I am still worried about is the few spots inside my mouth. As well as the white sticky gunk I constantly get out from under my tongue, and cheeks. It still burns. And as always, the lumps I feel along my lower jaw, the two big lumps in the front of my jaw. Yes, I understand that there was a lot of “trauma” that has happened over the years. The infection that took root canaling almost every tooth in my body, re-doing the root canals, pulling teeth, a botched implant install, removal of them, the surprise drill bit, and 2 back to back alveoloplasties.

So basically 5 years of consistent trauma. I can easily say though, that this isn’t normal, and I won’t accept it as being the new “normal”. Just like the other issues / problems that I had to solve, I just have to be persistent. It’s either going to be Hepworth, Dobbs, or maybe Lurcott.

Definitely won’t be going to Rollert for anything further, I was pretty disappointed the last time I tried getting help from him, literal minimal effort. Same thing with the guy that spent 2 minutes with me that Hepworth referred me to. I don’t even remember his name, which tells you how much of an impact he made. Guy spent 15 minutes trying to explain to me that I needed an ENT, ignored the fact that my ENT referred me to him. That exam he did wasn’t even anything. Pretty much a waste of time, and just a joke.