Less than 24 Hours to Go

In less than 24 hours, this almost year long clusterfuck may come to a close tomorrow. Yesterday, hepworths office called to let me know that the surgery was moved up to 1:30pm, so now we have to be there at 11:30am.

This morning when I woke up, the typical pre-surgery anxiety hit me like a ton of bricks this morning. I do have a few leftover valium so I’ll be taking it religiously till tomorrow. I did my med run this morning, picked up everything I’ll need for tomorrow and the next few weeks.

Not sure if I mentioned this before, bu5 insurance finally approved my home IVIg treatment, so I had to also pick that up too. Box weighed a ton.

I honestly don’t know how tomorrow is going to go. Most of the procedures I am familiar with, but I have no idea what to expect with the debridement part. My gut says I’m going to be absolutely miserable for at least a week. I’m also hoping that whatever is taken out of my face cultures something, or gives a solid direction in what the fuck has been going on in there for at least 3 years.

This past week, my face has been hurting more and more, so either something is going on, or the ketamine has worn off. Who knows. On top of that, I’m starting to get more red spots on the left side of my face, and head. I’m also feeling that thing that Schleve would always freeze off of my head. The only difference is, is that it really really itches. So tomorrow I’m gonna point it out to Hepworth. Hopefully he can sample it. It fucking hurts like no other too.

So I guess we will see how this all plays out tomorrow. I’m really hoping that this is it. The last last last surgery. I’ve gotten really tired of doing this at least 3 times a year. I’d rather start spending money on getting out of debt, and start focusing on the future.

But if you ask me. I am scared shitless about tomorrow, and what it will awaken. I have a feeling this far from being over. But only one could hope that’s not the case.

I’ll update this again maybe later tomorrow, or when I feel up to it. Thursday I have home IVIg, so at least I have that to look forward to.