Marathon week

So first off, I completed the final sessions of ketamine this week. Unlike the other weeks, I did ketamine every other day starting on Monday. My final dose topped out at 150mg. I gotta say it has been tremendously helpful getting the pain under control. By the end, however, I could tell that the amount of dose of ketamine was definitely affecting my body in a lot of ways that the lower doses were not.

The past two times, as I came down, I could feel the out of body experience that was told to me that would happen. When the Ketamine begins, is very subtle, your mind becomes at ease. Things of the world and your body are put on pause. Each dose of ketamine hit harder, and faster than the previous dose. Around 3-5 minutes after the first shot (dose is split evenly 50/50) is administered, you start to feel uplifted.

I highly recommend that if you do ever decide that ketamine is a treatment that fits your needs, music is something that can help you along in your journey. As far as selection, music should contain no words, or vocals. Spoken or sung lyrics can detract from the experience, so I would recommend dance music, or classical.

If you are interested in what I listened to duringy ketamine sessions, the link can be found below:

https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/ketamine-trip/pl.u-8aAVXEeIoaN9Bk?ls

As each session progressed, I sort of changed it up a bit. Soothing and hypnotic music fit me best. But this playlist seemed to help guide me on the ketamine journey.

After the uplifting feelings surround your body and mind, time begins to slow, the music sounds different. Around 10 minutes into the journey, the “feeling” of your body being connected to your mind starts to sever. Once your body is severed from the mind, the journey at this point can either be positive, or negative. I highly suggest meditating the day prior, and 1 hour prior to your session. Being in a place of positivity isn’t just good for you in general, it will allow the ketamine to enhance your mood, and spirit at the end.

Every ketamine session I have done so far has been extremely positive. I could talk for hours about the benefits of ketamine used in a clinical setting. Once the journey progresses where all you have is your mind, the chronic pain is literally switched off like a light. I would literally feel it melt away along with everything else. At this point the music, and the mind run free.

Kind of like sitting in the millennium falcon as it flashes off into hyperspace. Then all you do is sit back, close your eyes and enjoy the journey. Random thoughts will come and go, through what I see as matrix code periodically. In the room they do have visuals running on the TV, as well as a light array that’s shot up across the entire room. Periodically it’s good to open your eyes, and fixate upon the TV to feed your brain more stimulus, with that, and the perfect playlist, nothing but positivity and happiness continues.

K-hole. You may have heard of it. It’s the true state of disassociation with you and the world around you. This intense dissociative feeling washes over you right after the second injection is given. Basically getting loaded up into a trebuchet and launched to a far out nothingness. During my several encounters with the K-Hole, the dissociative effects shift into effects that are pleasurable, soothing, calming, exciting, and above all else. Self-discovery. Let’s be honest. The current state of the world as we know it has become almost pure chaos. The news, stupid social media. It’s sensory overload at its maximum. It’s hard to drown out all of the blinding chaos and deafening noise that the universe is constantly putting out.

It’s a pure escape from reality where time / and matter slows to a halt. Sessions can last anywhere from 30-120 minutes depending on dosage and metabolism.

Then when the journey starts to place your mind back into your brain, the first thing you feel is that your body is at complete calm. Nothingness. No stress about anything. This can take anywhere from 20-40 minutes depending on again on dose, and metabolism. Your mind begins to slowly attach to your body, you start to feel certain parts of your body, such as your arms, neck shoulders. As time goes on, your body wakes up from its catatonic state while “you were gone”.

As even more time passes, you realize really quick how cold your body is, I recommend bringing a blanket at minimum, those rooms sure are cold, but don’t forget, ketamine enhances everything.

Ketamine sessions 4&5 is where I noticed a few physical changes once I had returned to my body. My body just felt numb. And slow. Specifically my legs felt like I left them at home, and had them replaced with balloons. Standing is a big challenge for starters, they havent really woke up yet. After fighting to get my flip flops on and start to collect my stuff, my legs are just useless. As I walk out of the room, and down the hallway, balance is a big problem on top of having balloon legs, or legs filled with jello. I used the walls to help keep me upright as I take the #tooktoomuch walk to the car. Another thing is that light is very bright and distorted. Almost blinding in some senses. My field of vision is super impaired. As Mike helped me from the door to the car, I could help but just laugh. Silly observations.

I regret living on the third floor, because now I transform into Frodo trying to carry the ring to Mount Doom. My legs felt like they weighed 50lbs extra each.

I was glad to be home. Big thanks to April, and Mike for helping me get to & from sessions the past 2 weeks. Means a lot.

In other news, I saw Dr. Dobbs who is an oral surgeon in-network with Anthem. The appointment went really well from the questions he asked, looked through all the records I brought with, a cone beam CT scan, and a very thorough oral examination. He reiterated the same that other doctors say, CT looks ok… BUUUT he then went on to look at theRI and pointed out the same things Hepworth did. Salivary gland issues, sinus stuff, and all the weird lumps and bumps found all over in my mouth. He spent a solid hour with me, and the entire time it was productive.

At the end, he’s ordering a scintigraphy a long with a SPECT/CT. These imaging techniques look for infection, inflammation, and cancer. The imaging provides hotspots that show the areas of concern. I’m pretty sure my face, neck, and jaw will show some areas.

He also mentioned that I would benefit from physical therapy with respect to my myofacial pain I’m having. Hopefully this can train my face and the muscles to just calm down. And also that Botox may help, but will consider it on down the road. He wants me to take muscle relaxers to help with the constant spasms I get, so here’s hoping they start to help soon.

Lastly, he offered to do a bone biopsy of some of the areas of concern that I feel every day. I felt good leaving his office that he’s going to do his best to help however he can.

As for the Gofundme, we’ve managed to raise $5000 in as little as 1 week, and with that, I’ve paid off:

$500 Presbyterian Saint Luke’s Hospital bill

$150 Oral Surgeon bill from March

$1100 overdue antibiotic home infusion bill

$2400 Ketamine Treatments

Remaining went towards paying down one of the credit cards thats been holding 5 years worth of debt and I’ll continue to use all funds to eradicate this pile of $50k sitting across 3 credit cards, and 3 personal loans. I am truly grateful for everyone’s kindness, and financial support throughout this medical nightmare.

This morning I woke up to the usual burning face, but there were several pustules across my jaw line and neck, so I got one of my culture sticks out and started working out as much as I could from each spot. I captured all of this on the swab, sealed it, and dropped it off to Schleve’s office for aerobic/anaerobic culture from LabCorp.

This weekend I plan on making French onion soup. I’m so happy that I have some energy to spend doing the little things that make me happy.