{"id":77,"date":"2020-09-14T06:28:00","date_gmt":"2020-09-14T06:28:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.digitallychallenged.net\/index.php\/2020\/09\/14\/meh\/"},"modified":"2020-09-14T06:28:00","modified_gmt":"2020-09-14T06:28:00","slug":"meh","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.digitallychallenged.net\/?p=77","title":{"rendered":"Meh"},"content":{"rendered":"
I\u2019ll be honest. The past 3 years has seriously taken its toll on me. I\u2019ve always tried to help. Whatever I can do to help take the burden of whatever off someone else. Helping friends move. Borrowing money. Buying dinner. I\u2019ve always had a positive attitude no matter what I\u2019ve had to deal with. But as of late? That\u2019s gone. The literal stupidity of the doctors here in Denver (minus my immunologist and my oral surgeon), has driven me to want to just stop trying.<\/span> <\/span> Nobody understands until you have gone through and experienced several near-death situations, been to several doctors that just look at you like you are crazy. I have experienced an excruciating amount of pain, and still continue to. I\u2019m probably on kidney stone #9 now. This one keeps slowly moving and hurting every time it moves. Is this seriously how things are going to be for the rest of my life?<\/span> <\/span> I have done nothing but try to \u201cbe good\u201d to everyone around me. But all I have gotten in return has just been the reverse. I\u2019m sick of being nice. It gets me nowhere. I\u2019ve been taken advantage by so many people in my life. Inclusive of family, close friends, etc.<\/span> <\/span> From what I\u2019ve observed is that I\u2019m quite simply taken for granted. Nobody really actually cares. I\u2019m asked \u201chow are you doing\u201d. Or I hear \u201cis there anything I can do\u201d. I just want to just scream.<\/span> <\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span>The person I used to be is so far removed from the current situation. My attitude as of late is pretty shitty. I feel just horrible. I don\u2019t know even know how to describe how unfair this really is. Everyone else around me is just going on with their lives.  <\/span>I wish I could have it easy. Just once. It just seems that I am just to be kept perpetually in pain. Fighting the next illness that nobody will help treat. I see the other oral surgeon Wednesday to see if we can do something else. The cysts in my mouth are painfully unpleasant. I mean getting the dexamethasone shots seem to only temporarily help. I will say that the swelling has gone down significantly.<\/span><\/div>\n
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I still feel that ridge alone the inside of my chin. It waxed and wanes. I just know that when they were giving me the vancomycin in the hospital, that it went away, just to return. I have a feeling that\u2019s the only thing that\u2019s gonna get this out of my mouth for good. <\/span>
My sinuses feel better, the Linezolid definitely helped. Just need to figure out this last piece and I think this is done. <\/span><\/div>\n
What angers me the most, is that nobody listens anymore. Everyone is too wrapped up in their own worlds to really care anymore. I sit here week after week, day after day, just doing the same shit on repeat. The excitement of my day is getting to stare at the same 4 walls every week. Hour by hour, minute by minute. I seriously hate this. I\u2019ll admit that this has been pretty depressing. I don\u2019t get to go anywhere anymore. I don\u2019t get to do anything. Fuck, even my wife won\u2019t make plans to go anywhere with me anymore. Like I said. Meh. Nobody cares anymore. <\/span><\/div>\n
Is this all really worth it anymore?  I\u2019ve grown tired of this game. Life was supposed to be somewhat ok. I never imagined that it would be like this. Ever. <\/span><\/div>\n

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I\u2019ll be honest. The past 3 years has seriously taken its toll on me. I\u2019ve always tried to help. Whatever I can do to help take the burden of whatever off someone else. Helping friends move. Borrowing money. Buying dinner. I\u2019ve always had a positive attitude no matter what I\u2019ve had to deal with. But… Continue reading Meh<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"{title}\n\n{excerpt}\n\n{url}","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-77","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.digitallychallenged.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/77","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.digitallychallenged.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.digitallychallenged.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.digitallychallenged.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.digitallychallenged.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=77"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blog.digitallychallenged.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/77\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.digitallychallenged.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=77"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.digitallychallenged.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=77"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.digitallychallenged.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=77"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}